viel gluck!
2002-05-05

sound: beta band, a mix of songs

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i am obsessed with apartments. i want one so badly it stings the tip of my tongue. last night, post spiderman, we saw say and chris's new place. there are so many doors and cabinets and a big porch and windows and it is so nice. i want to live somewhere where i know who else is using my toothpaste. i want to live alone with p. i think that would help things. we are more comfortable alone, maybe.

back to the apartments. i have always had a lot of stuff. with a house, the stuff gets out of hand. there is too much space. with a room, there is not enough space, and things get cramped. i want the space balance, the libran eqivalence of space, the apartment. a room that is mine but does not have to hold all of my stuff. i want to remove my items from the icehouse just as liz did last year. i want to begin the process of spreading out in a small, comfortable area. i want to have a porch, maybe, with a decent bench (no couches), and a lot of shelf space. no stucco walls. i want to have a garage in which to make the things that make me happy. i want p to have studio space. an art room. how bout that? and a sewing space, as well. spread spread. i have the decor, the stuff, now i need a place.

this week has been slow, lethargic and odd. i did very little, much less than i should have, and all i can think about is what shoes to bring to chicago, and how the hell i am going to get out there. it is in a month and i have no plane tix. crapola. crayola.

i need to do more art but i am slow today. i did revisions on the T, and am ready to print it, i think. i have an ugly one (for the library, etc), and a pretty one (for me, parents, etc). the pretty one has fewer pages but looks so much nicer. palatino is hands down the ugliest font in the wide world. whole wide world.

i have to be good this summer. i have to leave for a while and be good somewhere else, to make be appreciate being good here. how will i do al l the things i need to do? where will the time be? should i find a job? hell, will i find a job? i need to make a calendar of my events. figure out where and when things fall. figure out what to do with myself and my money, to make sure that we both (me and the money) make it through the summer.

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