more crap!
2002-06-07

sound: none.

i am sick and tired of always complaining, but it is becoming more and more difficult to find things to be happy about. i am turning into the old high school friend, who hasn't changed in years and still, to this day, complains about the same stuff - her job sucks, her boyfriend is an ass, her father is a liar, etc. here i am, complaining. i hate my home town. i hate the people here. i don't like being trapped in the house, even if it is only for a couple of days. i greatly dislike driving with my father, who is nearly a pro behind the wheel, but a maniacal, speedy pro nonetheless. it makes me cringe, like being in shotgun in sterling's bus, which has no front - every time he pulls to a stop behind another car he gets so close i want to scream, but there's no car front, so no need to worry. he always laughs at me when i get all scared.

more complaining. i am going to chicago to take a class at the school of the art institute. this is good. i lucked the fuck out, in several ways, and now is the first leg of my journey. i began this leg by opening a letter from the school, which informed me that the one and only class i had signed up for (and paid for) has been cancelled. CANCELLED. what the crap? what am i supposed to do now? i have three weeks in chicago with nothing to do... there is the hope that i can get into another class, but it is already the 7th. the classes i could take start on the 17th, which gives me ten days in advance to get into what are probably very full classes.

all this stress and confusion makes me want to yell, then cry, then smoke a cig and go to sleep. but when i am here i have to be quiet, i have no cigs, and i can never manage to fall asleep at a reasonable hour. thank you, ashland, massachusetts. thanks a whole buncha nothin'.