|
trains derail all the time bubble puppy when you've had something for a long time, and then you lose it, what do you do? life isn't easy, i know that, but i have taken something for granted, and now i am at a loss. angry, frustrated, sorrowful. like someone who has lost a finger, a hand, i am learning to write again, learning to ignore my ghost hand, my nerves trying to tell me there's something there when really there's nothing. it's nothing to be worried about. it's all about changing, making change happen, which no one wants to do. so if i change, do i need to wear a banner? a sandwichboard sign declaring my change to the world? or should i keep it inside, in a smaller circle, a private change for me and thassit. right now i want to shout, kick, scream about my life and how much it sucks, but i think of others (e.g. michael jackson) and realize that this kind of tear happens to everyone's physical and mental fabric, and there's no reason i should be exempt. for those who are curious, i will reveal the film clip of the shit hitting the fan when i am ready. for now, i am not ready not ready not ready not ready not ready to admit anything. |
