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it's been a while... ... since i played the game... i drank too much coffee at work. can't sleep none. g and i went to see gothika, and it was freaky as hell, totally worth the 6 bucks, even thought the plot was a little thin. nothing scarier than skinny wet girl with blood and hollow eyes lookin' at ya through stringy hair. gah. you'd think i'd be used to it having seen the ring and ringu, but no. i am feeling more aggressive, lusty, bored, and also unmotivated every day. i want to leap out of my skin, flee this vapid place, blow myself up with anticipation and grief. no, that's not quite right. i guess i am a little antsy and wanting to make more headway than i am with certain things. feeling like there is no effort otherwise, no one else is doing anything so why am i trying so hard? all this distraction i have created for myself only serves to magnify, create more paranoia, and validate all fears. once, when i was young, i was bitten by a large dog, right above my eye. i still have a small scar. not long after, i was scratched by my cat on the same eye, this time just missing the important bits. i wore a patch. i remember feeling very stupid. there was another eye incident. i can't remember. sometimes i feel like it should have happened. i really should be blind. at least in one eye. |
