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all this crap to do i don't feel very creative today. i got back from chicago last night and immediately went to alex's to watch tv, which was fun and good and i like it there. safe. i found an apartment in chicago and it is awesome and small and large at the same time, really cheap and on the third floor with a bed nook and a big closet and an awesome kitchen and tiny fire escape porch (garden!). so freaking cheap. i almost settled for more expensive, and i am really glad i didn't. one place was about 4 blocks from wrigley field. yow. at any rate, i am happy to have a place to call home, and a street address that uses a half (2649 1/2 n. spaulding). he he. but i did not want to come back. i wanted to magically beam all of my stuff out there, to be sorted through later, i did not want to come back and deal with what i have to deal with, do what i have to do. sometimes i think that i should just let it be, forget about it. but then i remember that i do not deserve to be lied to, fucked with, or otherwise treated like a fool. i did nothing wrong, they have done everything wrong, and i want them to know it. not so much with crying, more with screaming and hitting and public humiliation. more explosions, fewer soft apologies from behind tears. there's a reason we invented bombs to explode. if they just landed in the enemy's territory and tried to talk them out of attacking, nothing would ever get done. no one listens. no one changes. |
